Draft 1: Original
Nature vs nature has always been a lareh division in the scientific field. While in literature it’s surroundings vs fate. In almost all plays a fate is to be brought about to the main character, the surroundings are what in result causes the fate, as the characters grow in their world their moral traits and psychological thoughts follow. The fight of fate is well brought about by the talented lyrical warrior, William Shakespeare. In all his play scripts is foretells of such tragic fates and harsh beginnings that it is to no surprise the surroundings brought such madness to the tainted world. Even tainting love in the story of Romeo and Juliet.
Growing up in a land with harsh fights between two houses in it is to no surprise that Romeo grows to have a desire to mess about in the actions of the Capulets. But still fate brings him to question the fighting. As he and his friends change scenes to a capulet masquerade the surroundings fill with joy and delight as it brings the two love birds of Juliet and Romeo together. Fate said it would happen but the surroundings affected it here.
The cultural surroundings of Romeo and Juliet brings them closer in secret for though shy at first they love each other and fate draws them together, with a secret wedding, midnight kisses, and balcony calling. Romeo’s surroundings of Juliet’s love brings him to be softer towards the Capulets advisory towards his family, his moral obligations becoming switched. Evaluating his life and the lore around the hate and trying to correct it. Though finding he can't, he plans to run away.
The fate of death just longing to bloom as the gangers grow ever so near of being found out, Juliet takes some dramatic decisions in order to be with her Romeo. Obtaining a sleeping medicine from the Abbey to have her acted as death itself had kissed her. With the aroma of loss and grief surrounding the town the Capulet’s turn even more hostile. Blaming the Montague, Romeo, for the loss of their daughter. The mood of the actions of Paris sounds as he fights to Defend Juliet’s body from Romeo and dies in action.
As the ending draws closed with the end of the next generation with Romeo, Juliet and Paris ak dead in a single room, both houses fall into grief and sadness. It is with the deep pain they each have and the blame of death echoing in their surroundings the fate is quelled by Montague and Capulet making up for the war and leaving the tomb, no longer as enemies. Due to the consequences of the actions surrounding them their moral values of friendship change to foretell and complete the fatal prophecy. The meaning of love showings the path to a better path and a better
moral filled future.
Score: 5
Draft 2: Revision
Nature vs nature has always been a large division in the scientific field. While in literature it’s surroundings vs fate. In almost all plays a fate is to be brought about to the main character, the surroundings are what in result causes the fate, as the characters grow in their world their moral traits and psychological thoughts follow. In Romeo and Juliet, by William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet must hold their love in secret due to the harsh and destructive state of the social system they live in, bringing an ironic state to their moral values as they sacrificed themselves to keep themselves away from their families who were trying to protect them. Juliet and Romeo begin to question who really are the people and trust and love and would only disregards them.
Growing up in a land with harsh fights between two houses in it is to no surprise that Romeo grows to have a desire to mess about in the actions of the Capulets, including to raid a Capulet party with his friends. But still fate brings him to question the fighting ironically at the point he had previously planned to continue to mess making; yet it had transformed into merry making. This beautiful and happy feeling of the party brings the two love birds of Juliet and Romeo together, “Then move not while my prayer’s effect I take. Thus from my lips, by thine my sin is purged” (1.4.108). Fate said it would happen but the surroundings affected it here “O dear account! My life is my foes’ debt” (1.4.120), when their psychological opinions of love are set in stone at this party and do not change even Romeo learns of his love for the enemy. .
The cultural surroundings of Romeo and Juliet brings them closer in secret for though shy at first they love each other and fate draws them together, with a secret wedding, midnight kisses, and balcony calling. Though as Lord Capulet finds this out, he is no longer pleased and lashes out at his daughter, “God’s bread it makes me mad” (3.5.177). For he had already gave Juliet her promised future to which he had tried so hard to get for her, “Hang thee young baggage! Disobedient wrench! I tell thee what- get thee to church a Thursday Or never after look me in the face” (3.5.161). The truth and moral obligations of love towards his daughter changed to anger and spite as he wishes to strike her dead if she does not obey.
The fate of death just longing to bloom as the gangers grow ever so near of being found out, Juliet takes some dramatic decisions in order to be with her Romeo. Obtaining a sleeping medicine from the Abbey to have her acted as death itself had kissed her. With the aroma of loss and grief surrounding the town the Capulet’s turn even more hostile. Blaming the Montague, Romeo, for the loss of their daughter. The mood of the actions of Paris sounds as he fights to Defend Juliet’s body from Romeo and dies in action. Though the irony is the deaths and sacrifices were brought about by the overprotective love from Romeo and Juliet's own families, “O brother Montague, give me thy hand. This is my daughter's jointure, for no more Can I demand” (5.3.296). The logical paths of truth skewed and the morals cleared at the face death.
As the ending draws closed with the end of the next generation with Romeo, Juliet and Paris all dead in a single room, both houses fall into grief and sadness. It is with the deep pain they each have and the blame of death echoing in their surroundings that the fate is quelled by Montague and Capulet making up for the war and leaving the tomb, no longer as enemies. Due to the consequences of the actions surrounding them their moral values of friendship change to foretell and complete the fatal prophecy. When both houses come to accept that it was their own fault for the sacrifices of their children, ““As rich shall Romeo’s by his lady’s lie- Poor sacrifices of our enmity!” (5.3.303). The meaning of love showings the path to a better path and a better moral filled future.
Score: 6
Reflection:
Writing and reading my first draft it was found that my thoughts bounced and jumped and went everywhere while being predictable and repetitive, with the added quotes and more/different character perspective it illuminates all parts of the writing as a whole, not just one or two characters independent scenes.
While trying to form even my new more developed thesis I had to rethink it more and more, over and over again, I am hoping I am able to develop and polish off my ability to be able to write stronger thesis sentences and points of reasoning. Though I do believe my new points in my new and revised edition of my essay has shown more of my potential and my stronger senses of logical literate reasoning. Taking a new direction and looking at more characters than Romeo and Juliet has vastly benefited my piece.
A Shakespeare piece may be safe but the other approved pieces of literature I have read recently were either foggy or harder to explain because of the vast differences in scenarios and complex outcomes that finding the correlation between the two would bring about a nasty spider web of thoughts to untangle. Thanks to the High School Play and my personal experiences with it, and re-reading Romeo and Juliet over the summer, I was well prepared for the comprehension of this prompt but not manually ready for the writing or proper execution of my essay.
I know this year, with endurance and practice I will brush off the cobwebs and write some masterful essays as preparation for may.
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